Aloha from Paradise

For those of you who don't know, I'm in Hawaii this week. We are currently at the Ritz Carlton, Kapalua on Maui.

I know, I know, you're all the thinking, why in the heck is she blogging` when there is a private beach and numerous resort pools right outside the window? It sounds absurd, but I'll tell you why it's not. First of all, have you ever slept on a Ritz Carlton bed? It's like bathing in a marshmallow. Secondly, my husbands in a four hour business meeting so it's just me and the baby half the time. Lastly, definitely I can tote the baby around the resort, but as you mom's out there know, sometimes babies need to take a nap in a room and not in a stroller, bjorn or beach chair. Not to mention I don't want him in the sun too much. But when he is, no worries, I've got him lathered in an SPF, like, 5ooooo. See below...

His perfect skin is still milky white, I can assure you. My tomato of a husband? That's a different story. And me, although I'm getting a tan, think I may have a slight allergy to the sun...I tend to get really itchy when I'm sunbathing (and after) and sometimes get red welt like spots. If you have any insight, go ahead and help an itchy sister out.

Anyway, I digress. So, yes world, call me obsessive or lame or whatever you want, but I'm blogging from Hawaii. But, in my defense I have some pretty good excuses... and I've improved in the last five minutes as I've finished nursing the baby and left him to sleep in the marshmallowy goodness, and I'm now sitting out in the sun on my balcony looking out onto the ocean. Better??

Before I go any further, I must say, I miss my little girl like no other. I didn't know how much I would miss the drop-kicking of a wake up call I'd get from her every morning... or having to make anyones breakfast. Well, I guess I technically make the boy's breakfast, but that's subconsciously. I can do it in my sleep... hands free. I'm talented like that. But I miss her tremendously. I have a perfect view right out my window as well of the kiddie pool and play structure. Talk about pouring salt in an open wound. Flipping the channels, I'm sad that I have no reason to stop on Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel. She would absolutely love it here. And next time, when Daddy's not busy working, she will be here without a doubt. In the mean time, she is living it up in her own personal Hawaii- Grandma's house. My sister's family lives there as well, and so she's having sleepovers, going to movies, swimming, having play dates and doing all sorts of fun things. I think I'm having a harder time with this than she is. In fact, I KNOW I'm the one being the baby about it. Point being, I feel like I left an appendage in California... and I'm going to feel a little crippled until she's back attached to my hip in three days.

(I just moved back inside...sitting in the sun for 5 minutes and the itching started. What the heck is this? Doesn't my skin know that it's a must to come back from a Hawaiian vacation with a legit tan?)

So, although I miss my baby and my husband has to work while we're here... that's the only bad thing about this place. Even the little bit of wind and rain we've had cannot take the beauty out of this gorgeous island and moreso this breathtaking resort. It's absolutely amazing. Check it out...

And earlier this week, we took a few days to ourselves in Ka'anapali at The Whaler right on the beach. It was a bit more humble than the Ritz, but still very nice and it was good to have some time to relax before the work events began.

It's so weird for me to not have to be anywhere, or do anything. I had to stop making the bed yesterday, and remind myself that housekeeping would be coming to do that.

I mean seriously, the biggest decision I've had to make today, is whether to snack on honey roasted macadamia nuts or lightly salted? (Honey roasted all the way---hey, it's a vacation, right? Ya gotta live a little. )

It is definitely the epitome of relaxation though. I even got to pluck my eyebrows in peace yesterday. And I had an uninterrupted shower. I know why it's called paradise now...

...but, with that said, I would choose my family home in California, with my loud wake up calls, Disney channel and PB&J sandwiches any day.

That is, unless they let me just send for Montana and take up permanent residence in the Ritz Carlton. At which, I'd probably choose Maui... they have Disney Channel, too.

So, with that, I'm going to enjoy my last few days on this beautiful island and go do more of this...

Aloha.

Learning to Love It All

I've been thinking about this post for a while now. The past three months, since baby boy was born have been a whirlwind. With two children, there isn't a lot of time for personal time. And when that coveted and scarce personal time comes, there are so many things to choose from... reading, catching up on the DVR, sleeping...or working out. Sometimes, that latter seems almost impossible considering the lack of energy and sleep that can come with having children. After I had Montana, working out didn't become priority until she was about a year and a half old. After it took me so long to get off all of the baby weight I gained with her (which was quite a bit...), I realized how important staying healthy and fit was to me. So, working out has become a significant priority in my life.

After I had Carson, I had to improvise on working out. I missed running...but the time frame for a good run didn't quite fit into our schedule just yet. So, about a month postpartum, I started doing a workout called Insanity... I saw an infomercial on it...I guess you could say it spoke to me. It said, "You wanna look and feel this good". You can check it out here, from Beachbody. It's from the same people who do P90X and Slim in 6. I've heard great things about all of them.

The Insanity package came- and long story short, it's the PERFECT name for the workout. It's amazing... and I love it. I tried to find a balance, and also not burn myself out too early, so I was working out about 3 days a week. That on top of the kids, was kicking my butt. Sometimes, I even felt insane, as my newborn cried almost like clockwork as soon as I started the workout DVD... regardless of how much I fed and burped and planned my day around him. Not to mention the 3 year old who found it fun to jump on my back and pretend I was her pony every time I was in push up position. It gave a whole new meaning to the word Insanity. Nonetheless, the workout is amazing and I highly recommend it.

Then about a month or so ago, my wonderful friend and neighbor got me back into my trusty Nike's and out to run in the beautiful country scenery around us. My heart felt whole again as I reunited with my love of running. Only this time, I haven't been able to get enough of it. I think of it and plan my rendezvous--whether they be solitary runs or chatty runs with a friend... I love that time.

In the past three months--I've accomplished things I didn't think were possible in comparison to my last pregnancy. At the risk of sounding conceited for a moment (please don't think that---I swear there is a purpose to this...) I have family, friends and sometimes strangers handing me out compliments like they were free samples at Costco. And like any postpartum woman, I am eating it up to try to fill my confidence cup as fast as possible to counteract the craziness of the hormones still coursing through my nursing, post pregnancy body. If you are a woman, or are married to one---you know what I mean. Those compliments are like manna from heaven for the woman that feels like the body she is living in is some kind of alien life form living in her skin.

But, the point of this post is not that I need compliments. Sure, they are nice but I've learned a little secret about them: They don't fill any void... they truly don't. Helpful for a boost of confidence? Sure. A quick fix for a downer day? Definitely. But, just like anything else that you KNOW, and I mean KNOW with a surety, no one else can tell you its true. You have to believe it yourself. You have to KNOW it for yourself.

I've realized that while compliments are the toppings on a delicious Sundae treat, without that belief and willingness to accept them as truth, it's an ice cream-less Sundae. Sure the whipped cream, cherry and hot fudge still taste good- but it's a mouthful of pointless sugar without the ice cream.

So, I'm on a journey to find---REALLY find that ice cream in my life. It's super hard. I've spent way too many years rejecting the compliments, making excuses for why they are "just saying that", and not enough time exploring why they just might be right. And it goes far beyond fitness, looks or body image. It's down to who I am inside as well. I want to LEARN TO LOVE IT ALL!

Part of me is still afraid--I love to try to improve upon myself, and part of me worries that I would become too complacent with myself if I accepted too much. But, I have to say, learning to love more about myself is making me so much happier--as well as those around me. My husband especially. He loves to see me confident. He loves that I'm accepting his compliments and not questioning them. (What's more annoying than that, seriously..."honey, you look great!" "Really? You think so? Ugh, because I was thinking that these jeans are still a little too tight...") Ew--that was/is/was/is me...yuck. (Quick shout out too to my girlfriend who told me that I was annoying every time I did the "compliment rejecting" thing. A good girlfriend tells it like it is).

So, maybe you could all join me in doing the same. Love yourselves... because everyone else does. Believe them when they tell you something, because chances are, if they took the time to say it, they mean it. Stop saying, when people say you look great that, "Thanks...but I still have those pesky 5 lbs and one more dress size to go...". No BUTS! Just try saying thank you, with a smile. Just accept it and shut up. :) I'm telling this to myself...but join me. It's so therapeutic and although the confidence is slow to come, it comes and it's the sweet nectar of happiness that doubt and reassurance from others, can never bring.

So, learn to love it all---be the ice cream in your sundae---and contribute toppings to others sundaes as well. Compliments and reassurance are the perfect touch and it's nice to share the treat.

Montana Monday's- "Belle Montana"

Montana LOVES princesses. Any and all...a princess is a princess pretty much to her. But there is one that ranks just a bit higher than the others, and as you can tell from the picture to the left, that's Belle.

I forgot to share this adorable video from Disneyland when the girls met Belle. They were star struck.

And Montana told Belle, her middle name was Belle. So Belle told her that her name was Belle Montana. You should've seen her face light up...and she still talks about it.

Carson's First Photo Shoot

Here are all of the pictures that we had taken for Carson's blessing announcement. Many are duplicates, just in different colors. We loved them all and are excited for family pictures in a few more months...

Disneyland 2010

It had been a year since we'd been to Disneyland and we were itching to go. We kept telling Montana that we would go after the baby was born, and that we did. We headed down there at the beginning of May with our good friends the Lindsey's and had an amazing mini vacation. It truly is the happiest place on earth...

Montana Monday

I introduced Montana to "quiet time" today. It is not a time out, but a set amount of time that you have a child sit quietly and listen to some nice music. It helps them to be able to sit quietly in places like church, and prepare them for time when teachers ask them to be quiet at school. I've had a few mom's tell me about it, but my friend Samantha told me she had been successful with her little Kami, Montana's friend and basically twin separated from birth, and I figured if it was working for Kami, I could try with Montana.

So after a long afternoon of errand running, we all got home a little high strung. It was hot out, so I came in, turned on the A/C, shut the blinds and declared it "QUIET TIME". I set the timer for 20 min, told her to pick out her quiet spot, explained to her that she was absolutely not in trouble and turned on the iTunes playlist. It happened to be my labor mix. Lots of piano solos, church music and Enya. Perfect quiet time music. It wasn't exactly silent. We had our moments, but I declare the first one a success. My favorite part wasn't the quiet, and it wasn't even the fact that she was such a good girl (although both of those things pleased me immensely). My favorite part was when towards the last five minutes I'd hear her mumble, "I can't take it anymore...". I couldn't help but think that this little girl gets that from me. Silence and stillness when there is so much to say, see and do, is a hard thing. Hard enough for this 26 year old mama---so I had compassion for my little 3 year old, but also had a little laugh as I heard her say those words.

Then, after the timer went off, we discussed again the purpose of quiet time and I told her what a good girl she was and how happy she made me, she walked away triumphantly and confidently. I then asked her what she wanted to do, to which she boldly declared, "I'm going to find a loud spot now..."

Love my little witty girl.

The above picture is her reading one of library books, the "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" collection. It came with a narrative CD which she follows along with. I highly recommend books like this---she prefers them even over me reading them to her. She's been glued to it since we picked it up on Friday. And yes, she's wearing a dress up dress...

Talk Time

Carson's place to chat is his changing table. This little conversation was following a bath the other night. Love my little chatty kids...

Honorary Montana Monday

Since yesterday was a family day, I steered clear of the blog. We had a wonderful Memorial Day, and I'm so grateful for all of those who have served and who are currently serving our country. We owe our freedoms to you!

So here's my quick Montana Monday---

SHE LOVES BEING A BIG SISTER!

They are best buds!

She even makes sure he doesn't miss out on the fun...