Where has all the charity gone?

Lately, I've been reading a lot of church books. My favorite author of the moment is Sister Sheri Dew of the General Relief Soceity Presidency. I finished her book, "If Life Were Easy, It Wouldn't Be Hard," and I believe it was written for me. It addressed all the things in my life that I feel like I am struggling with, and the areas that I feel like I am lacking. She talked a lot about how as women of the church (because her books are geared toward the womans heart and mind), our biggest struggle in life is finding the time to pray more earnestly on our own, and study our scriptures more personally. Basically, finding the time and proper motivation, to have a more personal relationship with our Father in Heaven and our Savior. Definitely, that's something I can always work on, so I drew a lot of encouragement out of her words on those subjects, but one thing about this book that has really struck me, is the topic of charity. I had really been praying recently in my life for help in being a better person. Sometimes we get so caught up in life, that we forget to look at our blessings, or we get caught up in negative feelings, that we maybe think things about others that we shouldn't. I found myself longing for a feeling of just happiness with everyone and everything...despite if someone had hurt my feelings, or despite trials, just being happy because I know that I have the Gospel. I hadn't really been able to define what it was that I was looking for, but then my answer came...and it came in a rush all at once...I was at dinner with a friend and she had told me about a quote she had heard from Marvin J. Ashton, that really struck me. I went and found that whole quote online-"Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."(Marvin J. Ashton, “The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword,” Ensign, May 1992, 18) What my friend quoted was in the bold letters. And that really struck me, because I realized that I was not always doing that. I was judging others, I was closing my heart off to those I had felt offended me, I was moreso doing the opposite of what Elder Ashton said; I was assuming the worst of others, to be a little bit exaggerative. So, I really starting thinking about charity, and then two chapters of my book were devoted to charity and frequently referenced Moroni 7. "Charity is 'the pure love of Christ,'or 'everlasting love' (Moroni 7:47; 8:17). The prophet Mormon taught: "Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things" (Moroni 7:45). I really started thinking about all of those things. If I am complaining about my trials, I am not "suffering long". I am generally a nice person I think, but if in my mind I am thinking something other than what I am portraying, I am not generally kind. I do envy from time to time, and sometimes I'm sure I can be puffed up. I do seek after my own sometimes, and can be very easily provoked. If I assumed the worst of others, than I guess I do think evil. The only thing I can honestly say is that I do not rejoice in iniquity, and I do rejoice in truth. I do have a testimony, and bear and stand for the Gospel whenever possible. But honestly...I realized I have a lot to work on as far as Charity is concerned! I hadn't really thought deeply into it until lately, and I realized so much that I need to work on it. That its not just donating money for a tax write off, or donating your old clothes to DI. Its a total change of heart. Sister Dew says that praying to have charity is like praying to have your entire nature changed. And that the responsibility of obtaining such a gift is immense and hard. Sometimes its easier to be angry or offended, than happy and show unconditional love. However, I realized these past few weeks, that, no matter what it takes, I want to be someone who emulates charity. Obviously I cannot be a perfect person in this life, but definitely I need to put more effort into progessing towards that. I found myself praying with REAL desire to have charity. To help me to love others as I love our Lord. Because, next to loving Him, is loving others.
Matthew 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.