I'm 30!

~I wasn't going to be afraid to turn 30.  I actually spent the last year of my life saying how I felt 30 already- I had three kids, had been married 8 years, had lots of  big life experiences that had made me feel like I was no longer in my twenties.

Then for some reason, a week or so before my birthday, I started to feel that sterotypical fear of the inevitable 3-0! Being the over analytical person I am, I spent the last week in reflection.  I talked to my husband, family and closest friends about how I thought I was feeling this way because so much was different on this birthday.  Every birthday I'd had up until now was in the same place with the same people.  I could predict and maybe even plan on how my birthday would've been spent back home.  Here, everything was different. Some things good different...and some things sad different.  I just didn't know what to expect.  And I like to plan...I like to control.  Lastly, I think it was symbolic of a new phase of life and although I was excited for it, I was feeling pressure in some areas that I know I still need to accomplish.

My last day of my twenties came and I woke up feeling amazing.  I came to a realization about where I was in my life.  I had a clear perspective of all of the beauty that the last decade of my life had brought.  Ten years ago, on my 20th birthday, I may have had one of the worst birthdays of my life.  I got in my first car accident- I rearended my sister on our way to church in my first car that I had bought myself 2 months earlier.  Because of the car accident, I had to defer a semester at BYU-Idaho.  I was coming out of a long-term relationship with someone and was very distraught over it and almost lost my receptionist position for answering the phone and sounding depressed! HA!  I can laugh at it now, but at the time, my future felt grim.   However, in my 20th year, about six months in, I found my Marc...and the beautiful journey of becoming a REAL adult began.  In the last decade, I have cultivated a true, lasting, love and friendship with my eternal companion, that we work on with instense focus and determination to keep that love burning stronger and longer with each passing day.  We have built an eternal family together, adding three beautiful spirits.  We have been through some intense UPS and some major DOWNS.  We have bought a home, sold a home, fought through hard issues, dealt with medical problems, worked hard to cultivate a career for Marc and made a big move, bringing our family to a new place.

I mentioned earlier that I like to plan and control things... and I will always be that way, but the reflectant perspective on this decade is proving to me that the best things that have happened to me (and us) in these years have been the things we did not plan on and did not control.  They have been the heart wrenching trials, the "dig-deep for our faith" moments, the unexpected miracles, that have been the things that have made us learn and grow the most.  And I realized how much I have been able to gain as a person from all of the experencies in my twenties.

And when I started them, I struggled to know who I was.  I didn't really know what I wanted out of life and lacked motivation and confidence to take the reigns and make things happen, instead of wait for things to happen to me.  And now, at the beginning of my thirties, I am feeling fresh and new.  I am feeling motivated and confident and strong that I am equipping myself with the tools I need to accomplish the things in life that I want to and that while I may not always be able to control what happens to me, I can control how I react to things and what I can learn from them.

I am on fire and ready to take on this next decade- bring it on THIRTIES!~

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I decided to make a sort of impromptu bucket list for this next decade.  Now that I know more of my capabilites and am a little more aware of what I want at the beginning of THIS decade, as opposed to the last, I feel like I might be prepared enough to set these goals.  And... writing it down makes me a little more accountable!  Also, this is a list of what I want to accomplish personally...not including the many things I want to accomplish as a mother, a wife, and a church member.

...in no particular order...

1. Finish my education with AT LEAST a bachelor's degree.
2. Learn to play the guitar...well.
3. Record an album- even if its nothing major, I want to have an album for posterity.
4. Run at least one full marathon.
5. Be able to do 10 pull ups.  I'm still barely able to do one...on a good day...so this is a big goal!
6. Finish one whole book of scripture (Book of Mormon, New Testament, Old Testament, Doctrine and Covenants) once a year.  Most likely rotating on that schedule. Means I should read them each twice, and the Book of Mormon and New Testament three times!
7. Attend the temple monthly!  That's 120 times at least.
8. Learn to play the organ.  I always said I wasn't going to do this so that I didn't always get this calling...but I think it's a dying art, and what is Sacrament Meeting without the organ?
9. Get my insurance license (and maybe some other designations in that field)- in order to help my sweet husband with his line of work.  Or at least just understand better what he does.  I always thought it would be so great to help him with his work.
10. Write a book.  Not sure about what yet, but most likely topical!
11.  Keep a weekly journal.  At least 520 entries.  So good for posterity!
12.  Read a leisurely book ever other month- 60 books.  I'll take book suggestions!:)
13. Golf with my husband at least 4 times a year (quarterly).  That's 40 times.  I want to be good so that we can play in retirement together.  I enjoy it and would love to play more often, but this is a do-able goal.
14.  I'm so afraid to write this down...because this is something I am afraid I will never be good at... but... learn to sew!  AHHH. I'm only setting the expectation at LEARNING.  Repairing holes.  Sewing a blanket.  That kind of thing.
15. Learn to BBQ. Marc is the BBQ Master, and for the last 9 years I've thought- why mess with learning it when I live with the KING of the QUE.  But, sometimes he works later and I want dinner to be ready, and I have not even the first idea how to do it.
16. Travel to Europe.  This is very vague, but I will consider a trip anywhere there a successful goal met.
17. Get a handle on Family History Work.  And even if much of ours has already been done, at least learn about it.
18. Get a certification to teach some sort of aerobic activity class.
19. Plant and cultivate a garden.  That actually brings forth a harvest.
20. Learn to can and use what I harvest.
21. Successfully train a puppy and keep it.  Still have yet to do this, but I do love dogs and desire to have one.
22. Get better at snowboarding.  Since I live in Utah, I should be able to get lots of practice.
23. Learn how to mow a lawn.  I never have- this is ridiculous, but I just haven't.
24. Put on a concert- of my music, sung by me, played by me.
25. Write an article on something and get it published, somewhere.
26. Swim with dolphins. I've always wanted to do this!
27. Write my life story ( up until the point I'm at- and then add to it...)
28. Go to NYC and see a play on Broadway.  And eat lots of food.  And do lots of shopping. :)
29. Host one holiday dinner event or party a year. Be it for friends or family or both- I love doing this sort of thing but let anxiety about details, invite list, etc. get in the way.
30. At the end of each year, write a letter to myself of what I have accomplished and learned- to be opened when I'm 40.

This is a totally impromptu list I made in one sitting.  Some are dumb.  Some are really big.  And I hope to accomplish them all.  Maybe I will add to the list as I go...I'm sure there are things I'm forgetting.  But at least it's a start.

Here's to the next 10 years!