"Please Don't Be A Spaceship, Please Don't Be A Spaceship!"

Remember that friends episode where Phoebe's fire alarm keeps beeping and no matter what she does, she can't get it to stop??? If you don't, I encourage you to click on the link below and watch the clip. It's hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2PMgztMSyQ

(Please excuse Phoebe's "french" when she drops it down the laundry shoot)

Hilarious, that is...until it happens to you! And this weekend, it happened to me. Of course, all of the dynamics of the situation make it even more frustrating. For some reason, these things always happen in the middle of the night!!! How in the heck does it know you're asleep? Can't things like this happen at noon and not midnight?

Also, a very out of the ordinary dynamic of the situation, was the fact that Marc was not home. He and my dad had a meeting late Friday evening in the Bay Area and Saturday morning he had a very early tee time out off of I-5 with his dad and therefore, with gas prices being what they are, we decided he should sleep at his parents that night.

So, here I am, its past midnight because it's hard for me to fall asleep with him gone...I'm finally drifting off to sleep while watching TV and the beeping starts!

I knew it wasn't the alarm...but the battery. I've heard both and know the difference. I was so tired I just left it for a few minutes to see if I could just fall asleep with it going off. That did not work...it was so loud I couldn't focus on anything else.

Side note: This situation has helped me come to grips with the facts that I have a problem. I cannot sleep with repetitive noise. A television doesn't really bother me...even lights don't bother me...but repetitive sounds are a recipe for me to be up all night. For example, snoring. Can't STAND it! I am constantly readjusting Marc and his pillows if he is snoring. I nudge him, bump him...anything to get it to stop. We can't sleep with the windows open and the blinds down, because if they blow in the wind in the slightest fashion...I can't handle it! Also, (although this doesn't happen in our neighborhood up here) in our old neighborhood, we'd have people playing music until all hours of the night and all you could hear was the bass beat. SO frustrating. I could have maybe slept if it were the whole song...but not the repetitions. I can't stand it.

And this beeping was DEFINITELY repetitious! Not to mention, my house is very open with very high ceilings...therefore, it wasn't only beeping...it was echoing. I had to do something. I was going insane. I went in search of the beeping culprit. I searched the millions of fire detectors throughout my house (I feel very safe from a fire by the way. There's seriously like 10!), finally to find the guilty party up in the loft where our workout stuff is.

It was definitely too tall for me to reach...even when standing on a chair...and just my luck, it was right next to the railing where if I stacked things up to stand on, I would surely fall to my death! (You can see in the picture below, right at the top of the picture and the arch is the smoke detector on the ceiling)

I was determined to stop the beeping...and knew my mission. TAKE OUT THE BATTERY! I rustled up some tools- the ends of my mop and broom sticks, and got to work.

Long story a little bit shorter...it was nearing impossible to get the leverage I needed to take out the battery...especially when my grips were the ends of poles. I even tried taping a pen to the end of one. Clear scotch tape isn't so helpful.

Close to an hour later, still determined and at almost 2 AM...my arms are burning and I am so deliriously angry I'm almost in tears. Not to mention, the only person I'd feel comfortable calling to vent to at 2AM...my husband...his phone had died and I wasn't about to call his parents house. I'm struggling...about to give up when...finally, the thing just falls off the ceiling. Not broken, but unplugged! HALLELUJAH!

I hurry and take out the battery. It still beeped for about two minutes. I thought of pulling a Phoebe and wrapping it in a blanket and putting it in the guest room closet down stairs and shutting the doors. Finally (it must have been the back up battery) the beeping subsides and I dropped all of my tools where I stood and trudged off to bed. I feel asleep almost instantly, with a great sense of accomplishment!

Don't worry, I am picking up new batteries today and will be reattaching my alarm. No need to call the Fire Department on me. :)

I'm glad it wasn't a spaceship.